Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
