so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
