If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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