Can Purell be used as lube?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
