It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You made out with two different species that night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
