I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Panties = found
Randomize
