Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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