You're completely useless in the revolution.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
