I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
