It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
