he wants to bone in the snuggie
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
