The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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