I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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