Sponge bath it is.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
