What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
