I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
