Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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