I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
