a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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