We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't deserve a penis
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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