I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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