For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
