Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
