do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
