can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
