lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pappa wants mamma naked
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
