bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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