I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
