i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
