check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
