He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
