I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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