Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize