are you so shy because you have an std?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
