I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
