OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
