Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize