i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
