I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
