the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
