Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
