Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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