just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
