you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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