If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
