I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
