sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
