She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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