that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
