i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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