i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
birth control should be required to get into college
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
