but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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