Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm always down for nudity.
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