TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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