Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
NoShamevember. You game?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
