the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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