He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
