everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
