Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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