he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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